“I’ve been dancing for over 10 years, and I’m slowly realizing all the harm it’s caused to my mental and physical health. I’ve never had a “dancer body” because I’m obese. Like, actually obese for my age. I’ve struggled so much in all my classes because smaller dancers can get away with having bad technical skills. And I hate that I have to put in 2x the effort to get 1/2 of others’ outcomes.
I used to cry in class every week and would drive home SOBBING because I couldn’t stand looking at myself. It got so bad one night that I puked outside the studio bc I was crying so much. I know it seems pretty dramatic, but dance is the only thing I have and yet I can’t even practice without comparing myself to others.
I’m starting auditions for college this year, and I already know I won’t be getting into the dance schools I want because of my size. I’ve had teachers tell me to “find a new hobby if I can’t handle the pressure” but they’re the same ones who preach about body diversity. I just want to shrink myself into a hole so I can be good enough for this industry.”