“I was groomed in secret for three years and just now realized it. That person also groomed another person for the two years of our relationship. I told my story to the public and my perpetrator is no longer dancing nor active in the dance community as of now. But the other victim hasn’t said anything. I respect that but it’s hard to heal and get my closure when the other half of the story isn’t told. People question why I acted so angry towards my perpetrator but it’s because they don’t know that there was a whole other person involved, instead of just one.
But one thing I can’t get over is that my perpetrator never apologized for what they did specifically to me nor the other person. When they made their “public apology” they just said they hurt people and their loved ones but not that they groomed us, used us for our bodies, and lied to the community about us. They basically downplayed what they did to us and controlled the apology by just apologizing to their followers because they turned their account private when they did that. I never got the closure that I wanted. Closure is a luxury.
When I would dance with the perpetrator, an instructor (before I realized I was groomed, we were great friends in public but in a secret relationship) would tell my peers and other dancers that I was not good enough to dance with them and that I danced weird, behind my back. I would be left out on projects and pieces that I was actually good at because my perpetrator didn’t want me to dance with them. My perpetrator only secluded me to themselves and when I questioned them they gaslighted me and love-bombed me.
Now every time I dance, those words they said about me repeat in my head and I get so insecure about my movements. I can no longer dance with the same happy confident mindset and get anxiety attacks before I attend a class. I try to not let those words get to me but it’s really hard. Dancing has made a big impact on my life but my perpetrator was included and influenced my whole dance experience. It makes it really hard to move on. I am healing but it’s just really hard.”